Friday, April 3, 2015

Doom

1/4

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Richard Blake, Dexter Fletcher

The version being reviewed is unrated.  For the record, the theatrical cut is rated R for Strong Violence/Gore and Language

Rarely has a movie’s title been so appropriate: doom is the situation anyone who views this movie will be in.  I heard that this movie was bad, so I went in fully expecting something totally cheesy and getting a few campy laughs and some perverse enjoyment at seeing all the bullets and body parts fly around.  But “Doom,” based on the popular video game, is so bad that it makes it impossible to watch for camp value.  It’s just a really, really, really bad movie.

The film takes place in 2046.  A portal to Mars has been discovered on Earth, and a research facility has been built there to figure out who built it and why they left.  But something has happened, and a team of hard-core marines has been sent in to take care of it.  Led by the gruff Sarge (Johnson), they’re a tough bunch, although by and large they exhibit far more testosterone than brain cells.  Needless to say, what they find on Mars is not a pretty sight (the scientist sister of one of the marines, played by the lovely Rosamund Pike, being the exception.

I usually like to find some element of praise, however small, in every film I review, no matter how bad it is.  But I’m having a tough time with “Doom.”  The acting is uniformly awful, the characters are boring, and in one case, vile enough to make one wish they would get ripped apart as soon as possible, and the story rarely makes any sense.

What really sets the film apart is the film’s look.  For a $60 million price tag, you’d think that it would at least look halfway decent.  In reality, it looks like shit.  Not only does director Andrzej Bartowiak confuse darkness for atmosphere (most of the action scenes are impossible to see), but camera shots are bland and unsophisticated.  The film looks like it was made for the Sci-Fi channel’s Wednesday afternoon line-up.


Trust me.  Don’t waste your time with this piece of garbage.

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